Unpainting the Past:
A story of generational healing: Choosing the Colors We Carry
What if every experience we have added a layer of paint to the canvas of our being?
Imagine we are born as blank canvases—full of possibility, untouched, ready to be shaped by the choices we make. With every experience, we pick up a brush and add strokes of color—some vibrant with joy, others darkened by pain. Some of that paint naturally fades, allowing for a fresh start.
But what about the paint we never chose?
Some layers don’t come from our own hands. They were splattered onto us before we even picked up a brush—passed down from the canvases of our parents, grandparents, and ancestors. This is the paint of generational trauma. It seeps into our being, shaping our colors, even before we understand that we have the power to paint for ourselves.
The Weight of Inherited Layers
Generational trauma is the transmission of unprocessed wounds from one generation to the next. It is the fear, pain, and survival patterns that our ancestors carried but never had the chance to release. These inherited paint layers don’t just exist in stories or memories—they show up in our bodies, our relationships, and the way we see the world.
Some of the most common ways generational trauma paints over our lives include:
Emotional Dysregulation: Struggles with anxiety, depression, and emotional reactivity that feel ingrained but aren’t entirely our own.
Attachment Issues: Fear of abandonment, difficulty trusting, or a deep need for validation rooted in patterns learned from caregivers.
Behavioral Patterns: Coping mechanisms like substance use, avoidance, or self-sabotage—ways of surviving inherited from past generations.
Chronic Health Conditions: The stress carried from generations before us can manifest in autoimmune disorders, heart disease, or chronic pain.
Impaired Cognitive Development: Growing up in an environment shaped by unresolved trauma can alter how our brains develop, prioritizing survival over exploration and learning.
Fear or Hypervigilance: A constant sense of danger, even when none is present, passed down through generations that lived in survival mode.
Recognizing the Paint That Wasn’t Ours
For years, I didn’t recognize the weight of the paint I carried.
I only knew that something felt heavy, like I was trying to create my life with colors that weren’t truly mine. I longed for closeness with my mother—for connection, warmth, and reassurance—but her own pain had coated her canvas long before I arrived. When I reached for her, I was covered in her paint—layers of fear, grief, and patterns she never had the chance to process.
She never intended to pass them down. If she had known, I believe she would have done everything in her power to heal. But generational trauma isn’t intentional—it’s inherited. It seeps in through the unspoken, through the reactions we learn before we even have words.
It wasn’t until I stepped into my own healing that I began to see the difference between my paint and hers.
Reclaiming Our Canvas
Healing is not about blaming our parents. It’s about understanding that they, too, were painted by those before them. It’s about recognizing what is ours and what was given to us without our consent.
So how do we begin?
We start by seeing. By looking at the layers we carry and asking: Does this belong to me? Do I want this to be part of my story?
For me, healing has meant peeling back those layers through journaling, therapy, self-reflection, meditation, and conscious living. It has meant acknowledging the inherited pain without letting it define me. Slowly, I have begun to uncover the blank canvas beneath it all—the space where I get to choose my own colors.
Generational trauma may have been the first paint on our canvas, but it doesn’t have to be the last. We can decide what stays, what washes away, and what new colors we will create on this canvas that is our life.